Weeks 3 - 6 | The weakest weeks & setting a goal

The gist

This is a summary post for the last 4 weeks, as it included the holidays. It became the worst before it got better. I thought about removing all my self improvement posts from the blog, and perhaps hide in a corner, mostly from myself. But then I got over myself, and pulled through to a successful end of this phase. Also, I set a goal of running Canberra Marathon in April this year.

What am I trackingStats
Weekly satisfaction8/10
Weekly reading76 mins
Weekly learning188 mins
Weekly building things0 mins

100, staring at me

100, using two fat zeros as his eyes, was staring through the weight machine display and smirking at me. ‘You are what you always have been, Adnan.’ Why try to change what’s ingrained into your brain?’, it suggested.

100 was my weight after attempting to bring it down, and it had crept back up, somehow.

I had two options. Either get shattered, or shatter this 100. I chose the latter, for the first time in my life.

Somehow looking at 100 had made me furious. Furious on myself, for travelling forwards, and then tracing those steps backwards, staying where I’ve been. If I accepted it, nothing will change.

I decided I’ll do a 24 hour fast, starting now.

The 24 hour fast

I made one concession for myself: water, tea and coffee etc would be permissible, so will be zero-ish calorie drinks. But no food, no matter how tiny or negligible it was.

The fast went surprisingly well. There were no pangs of hunger, neither did I feel any unstoppable cravings. I think the mindset matters. Once I told my mind I will not eat, it stopped pleading for more.

The Other Adnan

See how I call my mind something other than myself? It’s the only way I can make sense of my being. While my brain is central to my existence, it’s also selfish and kind of mindless. It craves and demands sugar hits, cheap thrills and also deep insights. But while it’s a part of me, my brain is not the whole me. I call it ‘the other’.